[SI] Birds of a Feather

Third principle of self introduction must be Birds of a Feather. If you are a programmer or an IT engineer you are likely to be familiar with this term. Birds of a Feather or BoF is a type of casual events, where people who are interested in a topic gather and chat about it. "Birds of a feather flock together."

So when you meet someone, you try to find similarities with the person, which you can use as a scaffold to develop the conversation. There are some subtle aspects in this topic. Firstly, you subconsciously prefer people who speak like you. For example, if you are visual type, you tend to use visual terms to express your understanding of abstract topics, such as "I see...", "From my viewpoint,...", "His new idea looks good.", and so on. Consequently, you prefer who use similar visual terms because you can understand the person easily. Secondly, BoF principle affects non-verbal communications: body language, eye movements, what you wear, etc. Research says these non-verbal factors affect counterpart's impression on you far more than what you speak.

BoF doesn't mean you have to pretend or mimic someone else to get attention from them. It means, by taking into account of this aspect of communication, you can avoid needless conflicts with or misunderstanding from new acquaintances, therefore increase your chance to create good relationships faster.